One Coffin Too Many Read online

  Seeing no threat Devoy parked right in front of Fallons.

  Instead of going straight in he made his way around to the back entrance. There wasn’t a car in sight not even a hearse. He returned to the front and peered in. Mrs. Walsh was dealing with a client. She was dressed in grey and black today and looked stunning. He waited until she turned away from the door before he entered. He didn’t want her warning Cremin.

  “ Well, good morning, Mrs. Walsh and how are we today? “

  She turned to face him and blushed. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and she blinked nervously. Devoy smiled. He had caught her off guard.

  “ Will that be all, Madam? “ he heard her say to the woman she was dealing with.

  “ Yes, thank you, Mrs. Walsh. I’ll be in contact. Give my regards to Mr. Cremin. “

  The woman nodded at Devoy before she made her way out.

  “ Detective Inspector Devoy. I wasn’t expecting you. “

  “ No, I suppose you weren’t, Margo, I mean Mrs. Walsh. “

  “ This is about the taxi, isn’t it. “

  “ Yes and no. “

  “ I thought so. You’re annoyed then? “

  “ You could say that and out of pocket by forty Euro thanks to you. “

  “ Oh, was it that much? “

  “ It was and I’ve little chance of getting it back because it wasn’t sanctioned. You know what the civil service is like. “

  “ I’m afraid I don’t. “

  “ It’s not a good idea to tangle with them, Mrs. Walsh – they don’t believe in making life easy for others – others less fortunate than them job-wise. “

  “ I’ve gotten you into trouble then? “

  “ You could say that, Mrs. Walsh. “

  “ I suppose you’ll have to answer for the forty Euro. “

  “ Yes, “ replied Devoy, savouring her predicament. “ I’ll have to outline how the matter came about. They may even ask you to explain your actions. The Justice Department are fiends when it comes to wasting public money. “

  “ Oh, “ she replied. “ Oh. “

  “ Yes, the DOJ can be very hard. They just may ask you to account for your actions. “

  “ Do you think I might lose my job? “

  “ Do you think you should? Mrs. Walsh? “

  “ Well I don’t know, Inspector. I thought bringing the files to you as requested was the best thing to do under the circumstances. “

  “ And the circumstances were? “

  “ I felt under pressure. I felt I had no alternative. “

  “ Pressure, Mrs. Walsh! Pressure from whom may I ask? “

  She let out a sigh and Devoy admired her chest as it rose and fell.

  “ Well you if you really want to know, Inspector. You! “

  “ Me! A police inspector putting you under pressure. Now why should I do that, Mrs. Walsh? “

  “ I don’t know. I just felt it. “

  “ I see. You were not feeling guilty by any chance now, Mrs. Walsh? “

  “ Well, I don’t know exactly… I….”

  “ You wanted to punish me. Is that it? Because of the coffee and croissants? You felt humiliated. Cremin and I were treating like you like an office girl. Was that it? “

  She shrugged her shoulders and turned her head from left to right as if she were avoiding something unpleasant.

  Devoy felt he had gone far enough.

  “ I don’t think there’s any question of Cremin sacking you. Why should he, anyway? You’re doing a great job here by the look of things. Maybe I’m missing something? “

  “ I don’t know, “ she replied.

  “ Maybe you fear for some member of your family working for the government – your husband perhaps? And you fear the consequences? “

  “ No. Besides I’ve no family and no husband. I’m a widow, Inspector. I’ve no choice but to work here. Mr. Cremin was very good to me. He could have picked a younger woman at a much lower salary. “

  Devoy couldn’t explain it but he felt the tension drain out of him as if she had given him good news. He felt out of breath and his heart started hammering. He suddenly became aware of her perfume. He sighed. God, he thought, she’s free.

  “ Is something the matter, Inspector? “ she asked in a concerned tone.

  He tried to dismiss his excitement.

  “ You just said you’re a widow. I thought a woman like you would have been scooped up well before now. “

  “ A woman like me! Whatever do you mean? “

  “ Nothing. “

  Mrs. Walsh shook her head in confusion.

  “ You’re a strange man, Inspector. You know when you came in that door a few minutes ago I thought you were going to bawl me out over the taxi business. I was really frightened. I didn’t know what to say. You were right. I suppose I was getting back at you over the coffee and croissants. I thought you were arrogant – that you needed to be taken down a peg or two. “

  Devoy shook his head.

  “ Well now that I am can I ask you where everybody is ; or is that too much to ask on the part of a policeman? “

  “ There was a funeral this morning, a big one. They’re all up at the cemetery right now. It was high mass. Some notable. “

  “ Cremin too? “

  “ No, not Mr. Cremin. He didn’t come in today. I’ve been trying to get him all morning. All I’m getting is voicemail. “

  “ Me too. “

  “ It’s strange. He’s always the first in. Something must be up. Maybe he’s sick? “

  “ What about his wife? Surely she must know where he is? “

  “ Mr. Cremin is a widower, Inspector. His wife died years ago. He lives alone. “

  “ Any family? “

  “ Not that I’m aware of. Did you have a meeting with him this morning? “

  “ Indeed I did. He was supposed to give me all his files on funerals relating to that cemetery where the coffin was found. “

  “Mrs. Walsh gave him a puzzled look.

  “ Whatever do you mean? “

  Devoy related the story of the coffin and the keys to her.

  “ Cremin didn’t fill you in? “

  Mrs Walsh shook her head.

  “ I’m only the secretary -cum -receptionist here, Inspector Devoy. I’m not privy to those matters. You’d have to ask Mr. Kennedy. He’s his right hand man. “

  “ I see. I wasn’t aware of that. “

  “ I can tell you one thing, Inspector, “ she continued. “ Mr. Cremin was working here over the weekend while I was getting together the employment files that you asked for. The last time I saw

  him was just before noon on Sunday. He was using the photocopier. In fact he was using it so much I couldn’t get a look in. “

  “ And how was he? “

  “ He seemed preoccupied – like he had received bad news. He wouldn’t let me near the machine until he had finished. And then he left in a hurry. “

  “ Can you give me his address, then, Mrs. Walsh? Perhaps he’s still at home? “

  “ Of course, no problem. “

  She wrote down the address and handed it to Devoy.

  “ Where’s that, “ he asked. “ I don’t recognize the area. “

  “ Oh, after his wife died, Mr. Cremin moved out into the countryside. Unless you’ve got a GPS you’ll have difficulty finding it. He’s really in the middle of nowhere. “

  Devoy shook his head.

  “ Nothing as sophisticated as that, Margo, I mean Mrs. Walsh. I guess I’ll have to do it the hard way. “

  She gave him a smile.

  “ You can call me Margo if you want, Inspector Devoy. I don’t mind. “

  “ Well that’s nice to know, Mrs. Walsh, I mean Margo. I don’t suppose you could draw me a map now, could you? “

  “ I can do better than that, Inspector Devoy. “

  “ Oh, and what would be better than that? “

  “ I could bring you there. I know the way. “
/>   “ Well, Mrs. Walsh, Margo. That’s the best offer I’ve had since I came to this town. “

  “ Is it, then? Well it’s the least I can do seeing as I’ve put you out of pocket. “

  “ And who’s going to keep the office going while you’re away, Margo? “

  “ Leave that to me. There’s nothing scheduled for later today and the dead are never in a hurry as someone once remarked. Let me lock up and make a few phone calls. “

  She opened the door behind the reception area which Devoy knew lead to some type of inner office.

  “ Make yourself a coffee, “ she said pointing to a coffee-making machine.

  Devoy looked puzzled.

  “ Cremin told me it was out of order on Saturday. “

  “ Oh, “ she laughed. “ he just said that to get rid of you. I wouldn’t imagine you’re one of his favourite persons. “

  “ No, I suppose not. I’m hardly one of yours either. “

  “ Oh, I don’t know about that, Inspector Devoy. I wouldn’t let a little misunderstanding get in the way. “

  When the door closed Devoy set about trying to make the machine work. He was still fiddling with ten minutes later when Mrs. Walsh reappeared beside him.

  “ You couldn’t get it to work, could you, Inspector? “

  Devoy shook his head.

  “ What’s wrong with a simple kettle of water and a jar of coffee. Why does everything have to be so complicated these days? “

  Mrs. Walsh produced a bottle of water and shook it.

  “ You have to add water, Inspector. It won’t work without it. Do you want me to do it for you? “

  Devoy looked her straight in the face as a smile crossed her lips and an eyebrow arched.

  “ I think maybe we’d better leave it for later, Margo. Let’s find Mr. Cremin. Perhaps he might invite us in for real coffee. Make up for his bad manners on Saturday. “

  “ You’re the boss, Inspector Devoy. “

  Outside Devoy waited while Margo locked up. He was about to get into his car when he spotted the parking ticket on his windscreen.

  The bloody bitch, he said to himself. I’ll have her arrested this time. He looked up and down the street but there was no sign of her.

  He was still swearing to himself when he became aware of Margo standing beside him. She gave him a curious look.

  “ Are you okay, Inspector, “ she asked. “ I heard you talking to somebody. “

  Devoy held up the ticket to her.

  “ I was talking to myself and what I’m going to do to that fascist bitch when I catch up on her. “

  Mrs. Walsh brought her hand up to her mouth.

  “ Oh, who are you referring to? “

  “ The goddamned traffic warden who’s booked me again. I’m going to have her arrested. “

  Mrs. Walsh brought he hand up again against her mouth.

  “ Oh please don’t do that, Inspector Devoy, “ pleaded Mrs. Walsh. “ You’ll get her into trouble. She’ll never get another job again if you do that. “

  “ Oh really? And what am I supposed to do? Ask the president to give her a medal or something for valour? “

  “ She’s a deserted wife, “ continued Mrs. Walsh. “ She’s got kids. “

  “ And that gives her right to stand in the way of the law? Give me a break, Margo. The woman’s a bitch. An eighteen -carat bitch. Is it any wonder her husband left her. He should have shot her. “

  “ That’s a terrible thing to say, Inspector and you a policeman. You should be ashamed of yourself! “

  “ Well I’m not. I will not have any pipsqueak traffic warden stand in my way. Besides, she’s ugly. She doesn’t deserve any pity. “

  “ So that’s the problem. She‘s ugly. You know you’re a real male chauvinist pig. Do you know that? “

  “ Yes, I do and if good taste amounts to male chauvinism then so be it, Mrs. Walsh. I don’t hear you complaining about your beauty and how you attract men. “

  “ And you expect me to lead you to Mr. Cremin’s house after all that? “

  Devoy smiled.

  “ But of course, Mrs. Walsh. But of course. You’d hardly expect a man to turn down an offer from a sexy woman like you. Do you think I’m mad or something? “

  Ten minutes later she was directing him to Cremin’s house.

  “ You really are a rogue, you know, Inspector. I really shouldn’t be doing this. “

  “ I know, Mrs. Walsh or can we get back to Margo. I feel more comfortable with Margo.”

  “ And what do they call you when you’re not carrying your title? “

  “ Oh, I’m Frank. Everybody calls me Frank. “

  “ Well Frank you’d better slow down on these bends. We’re getting near to Mr. Cremin’s place now.“

  “ Strange wanting to live out here in the middle of nowhere? When did you say his wife died? “

  “ Oh it must be years now. She was long gone before I came on the scene. “

  “ So how do you know this? “

  Mrs. Walsh gave him a sharp look.

  “ If you really want to know he told me. Why do you think I’m his mistress? “

  “ How should I know, Margo? Are you his mistress? “

  She took too long to answer.

  “ I suppose that means yes. Silences usually mean that with women especially when they’re not too pleased with being found out. Would I be right, Margo? “

  “ We… we went out. But I never slept with him. I agreed to accompany him on special occasions when he was invited to functions, things of that nature. He asked me to marry him but…”

  “ Yes, there’s always a ‘ but’ . What was the ‘ but ‘, Margo? You didn’t fancy having an undertaker as a lover? It would certainly put me off. “

  “ You’re very cynical, Inspector, you know. You really ought to have some faith in human nature. “

  “ You’re kidding me, of course, Margo. I’m a cop, don’ forget. I lost all that after a few weeks of joining up. When I was in training the sergeant training us always maintained that society was like a nice rock you came across on a sunny day. Nice to the touch but when you turned it over all you found were maggots and creepy-crawlies. Cops only exist because of the flaws in human nature. Keep that in mind, he assured us and you won’t go wrong. I don’t intend to go wrong. “

  “ And did you? “

  “ And did I what? “

  “ Ever go wrong? “

  “ Margo, Mrs. Walsh, you ask too many impertinent questions. “

  “ That’s rich coming from a cop of all people. “

  “ Okay, let’s call it a truce until we find out where Cremin is. Agreed? “

  Mrs Walsh nodded.

  “ You can call me Frank, if you want to. Sorry for probing. It comes with the job. “

  They came to a crossroads.

  “ Turn right here and right again. “ she instructed. “ His house is at the end of the lane. It’s on a hill. “

  A few minutes later they pulled up at the entrance. The gate was closed. The house, a red-bricked two story Neo- Georgian with white pillars flanking the double doors stood just below the crest of a hill.

  Devoy pressed the buzzer that was encased in one of the gate pillars.

  “ Doesn’t look like anybody’s home, “ he said, when there was no response.

  He pressed the buzzer again.

  Mrs. Walsh climbed up on the first rung of the gate.

  “ His car’s still there, “ she said. “ I can see it from here. “

  “ What does he drive? “ asked Devoy.

  “ An Audi. It’s grey with tinted windows. “

  Devoy climbed up on the gate beside her.

  “ Yeah, you’re right, Margo. It’s an Audi. A four-wheel drive to be exact. “

  “ So what do we do, Frank? “

  “ I’ve no warrant. I can’t go in just like that but if you invite me then I’ve no choice. “

  “ I’ll never be able to get over this gate wha
t with the skirt I’m wearing. Can’t you do something? “

  Devoy paused.

  “ Let me see. I was just passing by and the lady said she couldn’t get the gate open and she couldn’t climb over the gate because of the tight skirt she was wearing and her high heels, etc, etc, etc. So, being the gentleman that I am I came to her rescue and clambered over and opened it from the other side. Is that the scenario you were thinking of, Mrs. Walsh or is it too male chauvinistic for your taste? “

  She gave him a nice smile.

  “ You know for a cop you’ve got a great imagination, Inspector Frank Devoy. “

  “ Of course you could always take off the skirt, Mrs. Walsh. That would make things considerably easier and might I add, more interesting. “

  “ Yes, Inspector but for whom? “

  “ Well you did say I’ve got a great imagination, Mrs. Walsh, Margo. No sense in having an imagination unless one puts it to good use. “

  “Well Inspector for the moment could you put your imagination to use opening the gate? “

  “ As you wish, Mrs. Walsh. And then? “

  “ You’re the boss, Mister Detective Inspector. “ she replied seductively. “ I’ll leave the rest to you. “

  Ignoring his rising excitement Devoy climbed over the gate and went up to the box that housed the motor. He opened the door. A red button entitled open and shut was at eye level.

  He pressed the red button and the gate started to slide back.

  They got back into the car and headed up the drive. They parked in front of the house. Nobody came out to greet them.

  Margo went up to the front door and rang the doorbell. It rang but the door remained unanswered.

  They went around the back looking in through every window they passed but nobody was at home. The place was deserted.

  “ Try his house number, “ Devoy asked. “ Maybe he overslept. “

  Margo tried the house number but it rang out unanswered. They could hear it ringing.

  “ Maybe there’s a door open? “ Devoy asked.

  The same story repeated itself.

  “ There are outbuildings back there. “ suggested Mrs. Walsh. “ Perhaps we could have a look? “