One Coffin Too Many Read online

  “ After you, “ replied Devoy.

  Margo led the way with Devoy following her.

  “ You’ve obviously been here before, Margo? “

  She gave him a questioning look.

  “ You could say that, Frank. “

  At the rear of the house they came across a pergola with a central passage that led to a swimming pool. The scent of climbing roses almost shut out the stench of something burning but not quite.

  “ That’s some smell, “ declared Devoy.

  Margo already had her hand up to the nose.

  They came to an oversized barbeque and saw what remained of stacks of burnt papers.

  Devoy bent down to examine them.

  “ These papers are years old. They’re all headed Fallon’s Funeral Home. Seems Mr. Cremin must have come across something he didn’t like. I don’t like the look of this. I don’t like the look of this at all. “

  “ He could hardly have done a bunk, Frank. His car’s still here. “

  “ That’s true but where could he be? Have you any ideas? “

  “ Behind the trees there, “ she said pointing, “ there are outbuildings. If we follow the lane it will lead us to them. “

  Behind the trees they came to a barn-like construction. One of the doors had been rolled back. Margo was about to go in when Devoy advised her to stay behind him.

  As they entered the gloom of the barn Devoy couldn’t believe his yes. The barn was stacked on one side with sheets of wood and on the other side with coffins. Loads of them stacked to the ceiling. In between the two stacks stood a long bench and suspended over it hung an automatic nail gun and an industrial stapler. On the bench sat a newly-constructed coffin. A pot of varnish stood beside it with the brush sticking out of it.

  Devoy examined the stack on the left.

  “ Well would you believe it, “ he exclaimed, scrutinizing the oriental characters stencilled onto the wood.

  “And all the way from China would you beli….”

  His inspection was cut short by a piercing scream that made him spin around and reach for his gun.

  Margo was gazing into the coffin over which two large bluebottle flies were doing figures of eight.

  “ It’s him, “ she cried. “ It’s him. Poor Mr. Cremin. Oh God! Poor man, what have they done to you? “

  Devoy walked up to the coffin and peered in. It was indeed Cremin. He was dead. His eyes and mouth were open. His ears had been pinned to the bottom of the coffin with staples. Nails had been used to pin his hands to the sides of the coffin. But that hadn’t killed him. It was the nail that was still sticking out of his forehead.

  “ Don’t touch anything, “ he advised Mrs. Walsh who was sobbing quietly behind him.

  He led her out of the barn.

  “ Look I’ve got to make some phone calls, Margo. Why don’t you wait in the car until I get some backup here? The place will be crawling with cops when they find this place. I don’t want you involved if I can help it. “

  Devoy walked her back to the car.

  “ I….I can help you, Inspector. “

  “ Good. Let’s keep it informal. How are you going to help me, Mrs. Walsh? Do you know anything about this? “

  She shook her head.

  “ I know where he hides his spare set of keys for the house. “

  “ Oh do you indeed, Mrs. Walsh? What a resourceful lady you are. Next you’ll be telling me the code for his safe. “

  She arched one of her eyebrows.

  “ I’m not just a pretty face, Inspector. I’ve other attributes, you know. “

  “ I would never doubt that, Mrs. Walsh. Never doubt it at all. But somehow I think ….” he ran his yes over her curvy figure before he replied. “ you wouldn’t have need of them. No, sir. Not at all. “

  “ So do I stay by the car or do you need me elsewhere? “ she asked.

  “ Let me make a call first and then I’ll see. You go ahead if you want. I need a warrant to enter that house. “

  “ Not with me around, you don’t, Mr. Inspector, sir. I’m inviting you in if you want to. “

  She was teasing him and they both knew it.

  “ Look, you go up to the house and wait for me there. Try not to touch anything. Okay? “

  “ You’re the boss, “ she replied, and she walked away.

  He admired her walk for a while as she tottered away on her high heels, her hips swaying from side to side, the cheeks of her bottom moving up and down and then he turned his back on her but not before he caught her stealing a glance back at him as if asking him did he appreciate what he saw. Christ, he thought. How many scalps has she got on her belt he asked himself?

  He dialled Moore’s number. She answered immediately.

  “ I’ve got something, “ she said enthusiastically. “ Can I give you the details? “

  “ Angela, sorry. It’ll have to wait. We now got a murder on our hands. “

  He filled her in on the details and asked her to get a forensic team together along with a doctor. He also gave her directions to Cremin’s house.

  When he finished he sent an SMS to Sullivan. When he rang off he followed Margo down to the house. He felt his heart pounding with excitement as he approached the house. All sorts of scenarios raced through his mind and all of them featured him making wild passionate love to Margo Walsh in a strange house in the middle of nowhere and nobody about.

  When he caught up with her she was standing on the terrace watching him. One of the French doors behind her was open. He wondered was she aware of the effect she was having on him?

  As he approached her she waved something at him. It was a bunch of keys.

  “ Look, the keys, Inspector. I didn’t need them after all. I tried all the doors and this was open. Want to come in? “

  “ They’ll be here soon, “ he said.

  “ In a copter, “ she asked? “

  “ No, I don’t think so. How long did it take for us to get here? “

  She sighed and he watched her magnificent chest rise and fall.

  “ Oh, Inspector. Questions, questions, questions. Can’t you forget you’re a cop for a while? “

  He wanted to say that when she was around him he forget himself completely. But she must have read his mind. She took him by the hand and pulled him into the room through the half-open door. The space was so narrow he brushed against her. A current passed between them.

  “ We haven’t much time, you know. “ she exclaimed, looking him in the eye and drawing closer to him. “ At least a good half-an-hour or so. “

  “ No, we haven’t much time, Margo. “ he heard himself say but it was like he was under water.

  He didn’t resist. He pulled her towards him and his hands immediately went inside her coat and grasped her buttocks.

  “ Oh, Christ, “ she said. “ Oh Christ, Inspector. “

  They were now choking with passion as he lifted her skirt while she rolled up her polo neck exposing her magnificent breasts.

  “ Not here, “ she said in a husky voice.

  He tried to say ‘ where ‘ but he couldn’t articulate it.

  She led him to a billiard table covered up with a dust sheet.

  “ Here, “ she said clambering up onto it. “ Here will be fine. “

  She lay down on the dust cloth and beckoned him.

  “ Come, Inspector, come. I want you right now. “

  He climbed up onto the table and positioned himself between her legs. He pulled down his pants and heard the clunk of the automatic as it hit the floor. For a very quick moment he thought of Hartigan and the probable consequences and then he entered her. They both groaned with relief as if they had been waiting for this for a long, long time. Finally they fell into a hungry rhythm.

  They made mad ferocious love for what seemed like ages until the spell was broken by the wailing of approaching sirens.

  “ They’re coming, Margo. They’re coming. “

  “ They’re not the only ones, “ she
replied as her body was racked by another burst of pleasure.

  Devoy pulled his pants up and put on his jacket.

  He adjusted his clothes in his reflection on the French door.

  “ Look, can you clean up here while I go down to the gate to meet them? “

  She gave him a little wave of her hand and nodded.

  He handed her the car keys.

  “ Stay in the car until I come back. Don’t say anything to anybody. I’ll explain everything. Leave everything to me, Margo. “

  “ That would be a pleasure, Inspector. A great pleasure, “ she replied pulling down her skirt.

  God, he said to himself as stumbled down the drive ignoring the rising pain between his thighs.

  ✽✽✽

  CHAPTER 5

  “ So who’s the blonde? “ asked Detective Moore, looking at Mrs. Walsh in Devoy’s car.

  Devoy was caught off guard.

  “ The blonde. Oh, her. That’s Marg… I mean Mrs. Walsh. She works in Fallon’s as a receptionist -cum secretary -cum -bookkeeper. “

  “ So what’s she doing here? “

  “ Her boss Cremin, that’s the dead guy, was supposed to have a list of all funerals to the graveyard ready for me this morning but he didn’t turn up for work. I tried to contact him by phone and got voice mail. So I went to Fallon’s to see what was up and Mrs. Walsh had the same problem. She couldn’t contact him either. Voice mail. “

  “ I see. “

  “ I hadn’t a notion where Cremin lived so she offered to help out by showing me the way. Good job that she did. I’d have never found this damn place. “

  “ Is she the famous blonde you were talking about earlier? “

  “ The very one – the one that had saddled me with the bill for the taxi. Why all the questions, Angela? Next you’ll be accusing me of bumping off Cremin. What’s going on? “

  “ Well if you really want to know, sir. It’s your fly and belt. Since we came here you’ve been walking around with your fly open and your belt askew. It doesn’t look good. Maybe you felt you badly needed a leak and then again…”

  Devoy looked down. He’d forgotten to zip up and his belt was the wrong way around.

  “ Right, point taken, “ he replied zipping himself up and adjusting his belt.

  Detective Moore gave him a nice, understanding smile.

  “ I’d every intention of giving her a dressing down when I arrived at Fallon’s….”

  “ Save it. I don’t think the expression ‘ dressing down ‘ is appropriate – perhaps it’s a Freudian slip on your part. “

  “ You’ve got the wrong impression, Angela. “

  “ Have I? Your Mrs. Walsh didn’t get that flushed look from running around out here. I know where she got it from. “

  “ Oh do you?. And how would you know that, Detective Moore if I may ask? “

  Detective Moore gave a smug laugh.

  “ I’m a woman, Detective Inspector Devoy. I’m also a detective. I know a post-coital complexion when I see one. It’s particularly noticeable on the faces of blondes. “

  “ Oh, is that a fact then, “ replied Devoy. “ Well pardon my ignorance of women’s affairs, Detective Moore. What’s the matter, may I ask: Monday morning post coital depression by any chance? “

  Detective Moore blushed.

  “ Touché. “

  “ Right, “ replied Devoy. “ We’ll call it a truce. Okay, Madam? “

  “ You’re the boss, Inspector Devoy. I’m still the detective. You’re still calling the shots. “

  “ Somehow I don’t like the sound of that, Detective Moore. Particularly the ‘ still ‘ element as if I were on the way out. I’m not so don’t get any ideas. Okay? “

  Moore nodded.

  “ Well it seems like everybody ‘s finished here. No doubt the doc will give us a report later. In the meantime I better escort Mrs. Walsh back to Fallon’s seeing as I brought her here. You’ll tie up things here, Angela. No doubt? “

  “ Consider it done, sir. “

  “ Oh, I forgot to ask you. You said you had something. What did you find out? “

  “ Kennedy, “ she replied. “ Mr. Kennedy has sticky fingers. He had to leave his last job because relatives claimed their dear departed were missing jewellery. I checked out his other jobs: same story. Suspended sentence. “

  “ Right. Got the picture. Anything else? “

  “ Too soon to tell. Burke is still at it. “

  “ Well, I’ll be off then, Angela. I’ll see you back at the station in an hour or so. “

  “ Yes, you take your time. “

  In the car Devoy smiled at Mrs. Walsh.

  “ You know, Margo, I thought I was going to die in there with you. Good job my colleagues turned up, otherwise I think I’d be joining Cremin down at the morgue. “

  “ That good, was it? “

  “ I never thought I’d make love to a woman like you. Even now I’m still excited. “

  “ Are you, you poor man and all I ever did was act naturally. “

  She placed her hand on his thigh.

  Devoy sighed.

  “ Look, I’d better get you back to Fallon’s. Who knows you may have other customers? “

  She took her phone out of her coat pocket and held it up to him for inspection.

  “ See, Inspector, I’ve already checked: no messages. Monday is always slow. Besides you’d better bring me home. I’m hungry and I also have something to show you. “

  “ You have? “ asked Devoy, excitement coursing through him.

  “ It’s not what you think, Inspector. “

  “ Oh, another surprise for me. God, I’m beginning to like Mondays. “

  Devoy put the car in gear and they drove off.

  Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside a converted cottage a short distance from town.

  “ Well, here we are, Margo. What’s the surprise? “

  “ Can you back the car into the driveway? “

  “ Sure. No problem. “

  “ So what now, “ he asked.

  They both go out and she pointed to the boot.

  “ Open up, “ she asked.

  Devoy opened the boot.

  Inside was the dust sheet on which they had made love.

  “ I didn’t think it was a good idea leaving that about so I hide it in your car when you went down to the gate. I hope you don’t mind, Frank? “

  “ No. Good job that you did? I’d have had a difficult time explaining that to the technical people. “

  He felt her hand on his.

  “ Bring it into the house and I’ll put it in the machine. You can have a coffee and some breakfast if you wish while you’re waiting. “

  She didn’t expand on what she meant by waiting. Devoy was too excited to ask. He was getting aroused again.

  He heard her moving about in the kitchen and then the washing machine began to turn. He listened to its rhythm for a while and wondered what she was doing?

  He turned just in time to see her enter the sitting room. She had changed into a skimpy house coat and she sat right opposite him, showing off her long limbs. She was naked underneath.

  Devoy ‘s mouth went dry.

  She smiled at him.

  “ I thought a shower would be in order, Frank. You know, wash away the scent of that place. What do you think? “

  “ Frankly Margo, I’m beyond thinking. You’re doing all the thinking for me. “

  She laughed.

  “ Am I bewitching you, Inspector Frank Devoy? “

  “ That, Margo, would be an understatement in any man’s language. “

  “ Well in that case we might as well finish off what we started. The washing machine has almost an hour to run anyway. Interruptions always give me a headache. Follow me. “

  Devoy followed her into the shower.

  ✽✽✽

  CHAPTER 6

  “ Ah so you made it, Inspector? “

  “ I’m entitled to a lunch br
eak just as much as the next person. “ replied Devoy giving Detective Moore a sharp look.

  Devoy plonked himself down in his chair. Opposite him Detective Angela Moore flicked through her notes.

  “ Want me to start, then? “

  “ Fire away, Angela. “

  “ Right. First Cremin. The post mortem is scheduled for later this afternoon. The doc can’t be too sure. He’ll know later but his preliminary diagnosis is that Cremin died around five or six hours earlier from the time you found him which I believe was around eleven. That would be right, wouldn’t it? “

  “ I’d say so. I’d better check it out with Mrs. Walsh. Obviously they’re going on a rigor mortis figure of five to six hours. “

  “ Yes, the doctor says it tends to be detectable after five or six hours depending on the heat factor.”

  “ So given our lousy summers or what passes for summer we can rule out excessive heat. “

  “ Anyway apart from the approximate time of death his death came about because of the nail driven into his forehead perforated his brain. Prior to that he had been tortured. The question is why? The search of the house revealed nothing apart from a missing dust sheet on the billiard table. Every drawer in every room had been ransacked along with every wardrobe. The place had a deserted feel to it as if he only sometimes lived there. My guess is that he lived somewhere in town – somewhere anonymous – perhaps an apartment where he wouldn’t stand out. If we could find that we might be on our way to solving the mystery of his death. “

  “ I’d love to know what he found in those papers going back all those years apart from the fact that the keys were missing. He must have stumbled on something that tipped somebody off. Maybe he made a few phone calls. We’ll have to examine his phone. “

  Detective Moore shook her head.

  “ Somebody beat us to it. We can’t find it anywhere. “

  “ Get on to the phone company, then. They should have a record of who he phoned. “

  “ And the office – Fallons? “

  “ Mrs. Walsh should be able to help us there. “

  “ What about prints? Did they turn up anything from the barn? “